We did. I now look back and could not imagine my life without Parker. I could not imagine our life without the struggle, the uncomfortable conversations, the tough decisions... because it all led us to where we are now. Almost a year of marriage under our belts (ahh!), in a home that we love, in career transitions, and the extremely proud parents of our amazing, adorable, intelligent, and precious little bundle, Parker Lucille.
Feeling a bit nostalgic this AM, I decided to recount the events of Parker's birth day, and how Matt and I were given the blessing of experiencing the most intense and unconditional love that either of us have ever known.
August 26, 2013.... Early on in my pregnancy, I was told that my due date was August 23. Later on they changed my due date to August 29. For some reason, I never felt like August 29 was correct. I literally spent weeks going over "the math" of it all, to declare that August 23 was really my due date, despite what the doctors were now claiming... I am kind of stubborn that way. So come August 26, I had completely lost all hope because Parker had yet to make her debut. I was fairly positive that I was never going to have her, and that she was just going to hang out in my uterus for the rest of her life. That's the kind of crazy I was at the point in time.
A few days prior, I had started to feel some cramping. Nothing serious, but nothing that I had felt in the past 9 months. The morning of the 26th, something was different. Matt even called in that day and worked from home, because he could tell that something was different. Everything I had read said that labor contractions felt different for everyone, so I had no clue if this was it or not. It wasn't painful, just uncomfortable. And it wasn't happening too often, but often enough to make us think that these weren't just the Braxton-Hicks practice contractions that we'd read about and heard about and researched about for the past several months.
The cramping continued throughout the day. Around lunch time, it started getting a little more intense and frequent. But still, nothing that made me think that I was going into labor immediately. I continued pacing around the house (end of August in Texas means that it was about a million degrees outside, and walking outside in the heat of the day was NOT an option for this enormous preggo whale).
I am a VERY impatient person. So by late afternoon, we'd already been on the phone with my doctors office, and they told us that we didn't need to even think of heading towards the hospital until my contractions were much closer together. Our hospital was a 40-minute drive away. So I was panicking, and true to form, dismissing any information given by the doctors. Because obviously, I knew best. Lucky for me, my much more rational and level-headed husband knows how to handle my personality in situations of high stress, and he kept me relatively calm!
Around 5 PM I was getting super anxious. I needed to move. I needed to get out of the house. So we went to the mall to walk. We walked the mall for about an hour. We went to LensCrafters, spent a while trying on glasses, and both purchased new frames - crazy idea. But we both desperately needed new glasses, so why not! As we were finishing up at LensCrafters, I had to take a moment to sit down. I probably freaked out the poor lady working there, thinking I was going into labor inside of the store. I didn't... but my contractions were telling me that it was getting scary close to GO TIME.
We paid very quickly, and walked our happy butts down to the opposite end of the mall where we were parked. The whole car ride home, my contractions got more intense, and were about 12 minutes apart at that point. We got home, double checked our hospital bags (which I'd had packed for the past month... I was ready a long time ago), and called the doctor. I was bouncing on my exercise ball at home for about an hour more before we left to the hospital. BTW - the exercise ball was going to soon become my best friend. Seriously. How someone didn't think to have a woman in labor bouncing on the ball a long time ago is beyond me... That thing is how I was able to breathe through my contractions for a long while!
We left our house around 8:30 PM on the 26th. August 26 is my best friend Halie's birthday... she was requesting that I have a very speedy delivery so that she and Parker could share a bday. Way to go, P... ;) I called my crack support team (my mom, my best friend Halie, and my sister's boyfriend's mom, Shawna) to let them all know that we were on our way. Matt called his parents, and we made sure everyone knew that it was really happening! That was the most uncomfortable car ride OF. MY. LIFE. I hate being a passenger in a car already, because I get car sick unless I'm driving (maybe it's part of my need to be in control?), but add labor contractions on top of it and I was flat out miserable. We made it in record time, probably right around 30 minutes, and I was SO HAPPY to get out of the car. Matt dropped me off at the ER entrance, where my mom was already there and waiting, and Shawna came walking up within seconds.
Quick shout-out: I am SO LUCKY that I had Mrs. Shawna Gonzalez by my side! She had previously worked at the hospital where I was delivering, helping to open the hospital just one year earlier. She knew the nurses working there, she knew everyone in the L&D ward pretty much, and she was beyond comforting and helpful. Even if my sister and her son never get married (they've been dating for 9 years now, guys), I will be requesting her presence at the delivery of all of my future children.
Shawna had already called ahead and told them I was coming. I had checked in a few weeks prior, so I was rushed right upstairs to the delivery rooms and got all set. I was given the giant exercise ball, and bounced for about 2 1/2 hours. I had apparently progressed very quickly in a short amount of time. My contractions were MAJOR intense at this point, and the nurses knew that I FOR SURE wanted an epidural. I wanted to labor on my own as much as possible before getting the juice, but was now being warned that if I continued going as quickly as I was, and didn't get the epidural soon, that I would most likely miss my shot at the good stuff. So around 11:30 PM, I got the epidural.
SIDE NOTE: not as bad as I had expected it to be. Obviously a giant needle in the back isn't pleasant, but no where near as scary and painful as I thought. And I never saw the needle, so I didn't have a good idea of what was being shoved into my spinal cord. Good call.
EPIDURAL'S ARE MAGICAL. About 30 minutes after the drugs, I was doing GREAT. No pain, despite the worsening contractions. I was able to sleep for several hours, which when you're about to push out a baby - is a REALLY. GOOD. THING. I was extremely thankful for an awesome anesthesiologist because he clearly knew what he was doing! I woke up the next morning, however, and hadn't dilated much from the night before... That would be the major downside to the epidural: it slowed down my labor significantly. But honestly, as long as P and I were healthy, I have no regrets. Halie was in the room with me the morning of the 27th, and the room right next door to me was a natural birth... We both looked at each other with complete pale faced fear at the noises that we heard... I have never heard screaming like that in real life. Yeah. I'm a wuss. Epidurals for me.
Before I went to sleep, based on how quickly I had progressed when I got to the hospital, they were predicting Parker to be born the next morning. When I woke up, they were telling me late morning. By late morning, they were telling me lunch time... The doctor on call came in probably around 10:45 AM on the 27th and broke my water, which had not broken yet. Once she did that, enough time had passed without my labor progressing any further for them to get concerned about infection. I had also started a low-grade fever, so they started me on antibiotics and also a very small amount of pitocin to speed things up. DEAR GOD .... Once the pitocin kicked in, I was well on my way and FAST!
I was in transition for about an hour and a half. My epidural was wearing off, and by the time I delivered it was not working AT ALL on my right side. So ... I guess I gave half-natural labor? But the transition period was the only time I felt pain throughout my labor, and oh my goodness it was the most intense pain I've ever felt in my life. It's difficult to explain, but it was awful. THANK GOD for yoga - because my yoga breathing was what got me through it all! I was able to focus and breath through the pain, even though I felt like I was being ripped apart inside. Then all of a sudden - I knew it was time to push. Either that or take a giant poop... But hey - I'm sure that both happened at some point that day, simultaneously. OH THE BEAUTY OF CHILDBIRTH!
I pushed for 30 minutes. Everyone in the room said I was a champ, because I listened to my body and was so intensely focused on feeling my contractions and kept telling my doctor, OK IT'S TIME I'M PUSHING AGAIN... I had great coaches, and great cheerleaders. Best labor support team in the world. They also all laughed at me because I was talking about having my second baby while I am working to push out the first one... Uh-huh. I'm a bit insane. No matter, 30 minutes of pushing later, and PARKER IS HERE! I cannot even attempt to put into words what I felt at that very moment. Zero pain. Zero thoughts. The only thing I could do was cry like I've never cried before, hold her, look at her, and cry. Cry the happiest tears because this little person I had been waiting for SO LONG to meet was finally here. I am NOT a cryer. I typically only cry if I am really really angry. Marrying Matt made me cry, because our ceremony was beautiful and meaningful. But this was a completely different feeling. And I cried... A lot. Ugly crying. But I just couldn't stop. She was perfect.
My hospital was amazing for emphasizing the importance of family and bonding between mother and baby and father and baby. For an entire hour right after she was born, Parker was on my chest. They cleaned her off while she was up there, but her first 60 minutes of life were staring at me, me staring at her, and having time to soak each other in. We were finally face to face, and she had the most beautiful eyes I'd ever seen in my life (still does!).
I can say with every ounce of honesty, that from there on, I have hardly any recollection of what happened. For no other reason than I was just so overwhelmed by what had just taken place. I am a giant pessimist, and never thought I could do it. Had little confidence in myself, and so much fear for the entire labor process. After it was over, I was just in shock and awe of how amazing it was, how wonderful the experience was, and how thankful I was to have these people in my life. My family, the nurses, the doctors, my amazing best friend Halie who has now seen more of me than any best friend ever should... I felt lucky. So, so lucky.
We spent 3 days in the hospital. We had visits from people who are very important to us, including a group of my former students! That was probably the most special... They passed around a 1-day old baby Parker and declared her the greatest baby in all the world. I had to agree, but it was the sweetest moment watching my Theatre Babies holding and gushing over my biological baby. I will never forget that.
I look at Parker every day and cannot believe that she is ours. It's now been 4 1/2 months, and I am constantly in awe of how amazing she is. I can imagine what my life would be like without her, but I have absolutely zero desire to do so. She brings new meaning to my life, every single day. She allowed me to feel a kind of love I've never known. She has allowed me to fall more and more in love with my husband as I watch him become such an incredible Dad. I experience struggles daily; of identity crisis, of self-confidence, emotional overload, stresses of being a new mom... but it's all worth it.
As Matt says all of the time, his favorite part of the day is when he gets to go into her room and wake her up. She looks up at you, blinks a few times to focus her vision, realizes who she's looking at, and throws out this insanely huge smile, kicks in delight, and her joy instantly rubs off on you. It's the best way to start the day. It makes every moment we've struggled through worth it.
Parker Lucille Truitt:
I am terrified of your teen years, I have so much hope for your future, I had every confidence that you will be little but fierce, and I already feel so much pride in the little lady that you will grow up to be. You are my sunshine, my only sunshine. I love you around the world and back (shout-out to my 7th grade English teacher Coach Jones for that one!). Thank you for making me a mother, it is my most favorite job yet.
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