Today's Thoughts: An Artist of Faith

For a while now, I've wanted to write a post about why and/or how it seems that we've come to a place in our western thinking world that art and faith are two mutually exclusive ideas. This thought has perplexed me for quite some time, and then, in true form, I began reading this book this morning. Timing is everything, and you always find what you're looking for when you least expect it ... This book that I received for Christmas by default through my family's attempt at a White Elephant gift exchange (I traded and ended up with this book.... SO lucky for me!), is the exact motivation I needed to find a central theme for my thoughts:

                         

The book is: SOULPANCAKE: Chew on Life's Big Questions, by Rainn Wilson. He, along with two buddies, is responsible for the greatness that is SoulPancake.com. According to Rainn, his goal in creating this website was to give people a place to explore creativity, spirituality, and philosophy. I am really not sure how I have not come to learn more about this until now, as that basically sums up my search for meaning in a nutshell. But, I was lead to read it today, and it could not have been more perfectly timed. 

All that I have done so far is read his introduction, and begin flipping through the rest of the book. I cannot wait to delve deeper into his creative genius, because his intro was SO inspiring to me, and rang a bell that I have been hunting down for quite some time now. ART and FAITH are not mutually exclusive... The two go hand-in-hand. Rainn explains a bit about his life: his trippy childhood with Baha'i' parents, to his youthful ignorance of "theatre is my religion" mentality during his college days... To his (sadly) far-too-often formerly religious actor turning to "Sex, Drugs, and Rock-n-Roll" phase, to fill the void he was feeling... And ultimately, after scary drug related circumstances, his search for faith and meaning in The Creator; The Divine. 

After reading this introduction, I popped open my Facebook app for a hot minute. The first several updates to appear on my newsfeed: the tragic breaking story of Phillip Seymour Hoffman's death by overdose. For YEARS... Ever since he played Dusty in my secret (now, not-so-secret) guilty pleasure flick, Twister, I have been artistically and creatively in love with PSH.

COMPLETE SIDE NOTE: just to further emphasize how much I loved the movie Twister, and more importantly, Phillip Seymour Hoffman, I have actually found and traveled to the complete middle of nowhere town of Wakita, OK - which is now entirely dedicated to the movie - in an attempt to find Aunt Mae's house... Yep. That's where I am at with that.

One of my all time favorite movie quotes is from his character in Almost Famous...

"The only true currency in this bankrupt world is what you share with someone else when you're uncool." 

I can not imagine the actor sphere without him in it. Synecdoche, New York is one of the most incredibly moving and metaphorical films I've ever seen, and all because of him. He did things with the roles that he played that were unparalleled. He played such a giant span of DIFFERENT and unique characters. And tragically, but all to commonly, he died in his apartment, due to drug overdose. Artists are more often paired with drugs and alcohol, or other various sinful habits, than they are faith. And today, more than ever, I am asking myself, WHY?!?

When you are an artist, you are willingly entering into a world that you know comes fully equipped with judgement, criticism, low-income, low-success rate, the elusive "big break" that many of us will never see... It is a lifestyle that you must truly LOVE in order to be prepared to manage all of the negativity that comes with it. It seems to me, that more so than most other professions, turning to faith (of any kind!) makes more sense for an artist. But instead of diving head first into asking these philosophical questions that we are challenged with in our studies of acting, actors (and other various forms of artists) become focused on the next big thing; paycheck, better agent, better role, and so forth, and so on... We make a decision somewhere along the way that because of our inherent persecution, that we must supplement that with bad behavior. 

I am completely guilty of this. As a college student, I became completely swept up in the idea. I quit listening to everything I was taught while I was growing up, and put all of my eggs into the artist basket. I made poor choices, I quit regularly attending church after my first semester... And it wouldn't be until after college that I started attending church again. I turned my back on these morals and ideas that I found so important during my adolescence. And all the while, I felt an emptiness... I felt like something was missing. I was constantly confused, finding great difficulty in making important decisions, and usually turning to something I would not approve of as a formerly religious human to make myself happy again. 

And then I did a bit of growing up. 

I am by no means saying that all artists need to be Christians. Especially in our current world where we find ourselves defending our religious and spiritual beliefs on a daily basis. But what does the word SPIRITUALITY mean to you? What does it mean to you to have belief in something bigger than your comprehension? 

I again quote Rainn in his introduction, "Doesn't there need to be a source to the mystery of it all? I mean, you can't kinda be pregnant. You either are or you aren't. It seemed to me that God was the same: there either is or there isn't a creator." 

What would our artistic world be like if instead of turning to drugs for greater, mind-altering meaning, we turned to faith? We posed BIG questions, and used our art to find the answers? Seems to me we'd be a lot healthier, lose a lot less great and important artists "for the greater good", and in general - all have a much more positive and human approach to life. 

GOD IS LOVE. Love what you do, love yourself. I love being a Teaching Artist. I love Theatre and all that it has to offer. I love what the power of a live theatrical performance can do to transform an audience. I love that music evokes emotion that you didn't even know existed. But I also feel many of those same things when I am sitting (or standing) in a room full of people who are outwardly showing their praise and FAITH in The Creator. That is a feeling that cannot be explained by anything other than experience. And this is coming from a tried and true Catholic girl who has spent her past (almost) year "trying out" more churches that I can count, in an attempt to find a place of worship that my husband and I can both agree on. The commonality in all of my visits: the positive outlook I have when I leave. No matter where I am that Sunday morning, I am motivated and inspired to DO, to CREATE, and to LOVE. 

That is part of what it means to have faith. That you are a faithful citizen of the world and your goal is not to harm those whose beliefs are in opposition of yours, but to learn more. I am always seeking knowledge. That is part of what being an artist means to me.

RIP, Phillip Seymour Hoffman. I am sad that your time ended far too soon in a far too predictably uninspiring manner for the great capacity of your talented life. You will forever serve as an inspiration for me in many different ways. 

My advice for all artists: 

Find your faith. In whatever spiritual journey you may lead, realize your worth. You will be pleasantly surprised by what transcendence you find in becoming a spiritual being. 

Oh. And read Rainn Wilson's book. Soulpancake for the win ;)