Today's thoughts: Post-Baby Body

I try very hard to continue a positive outlook on the future of my post-baby body. However, like most of the world right now, I have very little patience and am an "instant gratification" junkie. Having a baby will test your patience in ways you cannot imagine; including waiting for your body to return to normal.

I wish that I could say I blame it solely on the media's reporting of celebrity women who INSTANTLY pop back to a size 0 within weeks of having a baby... But that's just not the case. The fact of the matter is, we (women) for some reason, have placed an unreasonably challenging standard on ourselves. In reality, we are not all genetically blessed to lose weight quickly. We don't all have constant outside help to exercise hours a day, prepare healthy meals, and care for a newborn. This has been made to seem like it is how a majority of the new mom world lives, but, hate to break it to ya, it's an illusion!

I look at myself in the mirror every day and wonder how I "let" my body get this way. And usually, it's my wonderful and very understanding (and smart!) husband who tells me to get over it - because I had a baby. I grew life inside of my body. I'm not sure that my organs are even fully back in place, but I feel like 3.5 months out and my body should be back to normal already. WRONG! Every woman is different. Every pregnancy is different, every delivery is different, and everyone's "4th trimester" is different.

I have known my entire life that my family struggles with weight. Both sides of my family have a very easy time gaining weight, and an incredibly difficult time losing it. Is why I was an athlete and very active a majority of my life. But I was never stick-skinny. Even when I was competitively swimming 6+ hours a day, I was always very healthy, but what most would refer to as "athletic" or "stocky" in my build. Big thighs, big butts, big hips, broad shoulders... and I am only 5'1". Makes carrying extra weight more of a challenge, and looks a lot different on me, too. So, when I became pregnant, I exercised my butt off. I went after it more so in the beginning, and then the inevitable exhaustion of the third trimester set in and I exercised as much as I could. Not to mention, my third trimester was during the miserable heat of a Texas summer... I walked malls, I did my preggo workout DVD's in my living room, and I did what I could. I still ended up gaining close to 45 lbs by the end of it.

What they don't tell you about baby weight: you don't just gain L-B's. I probably added close to 8 inches in my hips, which were already big for my frame. My rib cage is wider, which resulted in me having to get resized for bras... My shoulders are more broad - a lot of my shirts and jackets which now fit me again elsewhere, are still really tight on my shoulders. Everything about my body is DIFFERENT, aside from just gaining weight.

Like I said before, I wish I could just blame Hollywood for unrealistic expectations, but that is just not true. I put WAY more pressure on myself than anyone else does. I have several friends who are genetically blessed. 6-weeks post delivery and they were back in their pre-pregnancy clothes. I am my own worst enemy, because I constantly compare myself to people who are just flat out built differently than I am. I thought that is just the way it should be and that I was doing something terribly wrong if I wasn't back to normal a month and a half after popping out a baby. Idiot. Why is it so easy to accept that everyone looks different while pregnant, but that we should all react the same after the baby arrives?

Funny thing is: my husband doesn't care. Sure he wishes he could have his smokin' hot wife back. But he realizes that it took 9-months for my body to get the way that it was. And he even gives me more time than that. He tells me all the time, "Give yourself a year. If by this time next year you're still complaining and not back in your regular clothes, then you've got problems. Not 3 months after giving birth." He's amazing, have I ever mentioned that before? If he gets it, and he loves me, and still thinks I am as beautiful as the day he met me, then why do I care about what anyone else thinks?

I figured it out last night as I was crying in my closet that I don't have any dresses to wear to my husbands company Christmas party... To look like I don't have my shit together 3 months after delivery for some reason, represents failure to me. It represents that I don't take care of myself, or that I don't give a crap about taking care of myself. It represents that I am not Super Mom. It represents that I can't do it all, that I have no control over my life, and that I must be lazy because now I am a Stay at Home Mom and what on earth must I be doing all day if I don't have a crazy rockin' body by now?! HOLD THE PHONE... REALITY CHECK, FOLKS! I have a baby. She is 100% reliant on me. She can't move from room to room on her own. She can't feed herself. She can't change her own clothes, her own diapers, she can't bathe herself, she can't swaddle herself, she can't get into bed on her own, she can't make a bottle, she can't do ANYTHING without me. And I don't have anyone else helping me around the clock. It's just me, my fur babies, and little P. 24/7. I don't drop her off for someone else to deal with. I don't have a nanny, I don't have a cleaning lady... I am the chauffeur, I am the chef, I am the cleaning service, I am the event planner, I am the caretaker, I am the dog walker, I am the nanny, I am the entertainer, I am the personal shopper, I am the dish washer, I am the laundress, I am everything to this little girl, to my household, and to my family.

And somewhere in there I am supposed to find time to get 60 uninterrupted minutes daily, to myself, to exercise? Not likely.

Yes, Parker takes longer naps now. But guess what I use that time for? All of the above mentioned responsibilities that don't directly relate to the care of a baby.

When I look at the list of everything that I do now, I am kindly reminded that the fact that I don't have to wear my maternity jeans anymore is a big accomplishment, even if my regular jeans are still two sizes too big. Sure my bras are bigger, but who doesn't love bigger boobs! Yes, I don't have time to go lay blissfully in a tanning bed 3 times a week, but apparently melanoma isn't all it's cracked up to be, anyway. Am I physically the same person I was before Parker was amazingly brought into this world? Hell no. I am better.

I have an extremely well-adjusted little girl. She is gorgeous, she is happy, she is healthy, she is so damn smart, and she is perfect. I made her. That is my top priority. Do I care about how I look? Absolutely. But not as much as I care about raising a morally sound and independent little lady.

So to those who have come before me, who are right along side me, or who are following in my footsteps... Motherhood is SO much more than getting your post-baby body back. It is sad that the focus somehow shifts from how amazing your baby is to "How She Got Her Body Back Just 2 Weeks After Baby!" Because baby is now #1. For the rest of my life, I come second. Even if it means taking an entire year to get my body back.

Now let's see if I can practice what I preach ;)

And just in case I don't express my opinion well enough... Read this for encouragement!